Today I attended a workshop called "Access Your Personal Power". It's presented by a couple of friends of mine and I've attended this workshop before. There's a particular exercise they do called "validation". While the entire workshop is incredibly worthwhile, the validation exercise is my favorite part. They start by watching a short You Tube video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao
Then each person pairs up with someone they don't already know. You spend a minute just looking at each other, no talking, attempting to see all the good within them, and of course allowing them to look at you with the same objective. Remember I said I have done this a few times, but the 1st time was most definitely uncomfortable. Then one person tells the other the words that come to their mind as they see the good. After a few minutes, you switch and now the other person talks and lists the good seen while looking in the eyes of the 1st person. This might sound strange or quirky to some, definitely uncomfortable to others. But until you have experienced it, you can't imagine the impact it has, both as the giver and the receiver. So today, as we did this, one of the words said to me was "open". That put a huge smile in my heart. That word is not just a word for me. That word carries a whole lot of story and a whole lot of progress. Anyone who has read some of the earliest entries in my blog, or has known me for a long time, knows that in the past, I have not been an "open" person at all. Quite the opposite. The evolution of this blog has gone from a personal, closed, locked blog that only my children were allowed to view with their password, to a blog that anyone interested can read. The original purpose was so my children could learn who I really am. Something I failed to allow them to see. Perhaps "failed" is a harsh word and would be better to say I was simply unable to allow them to see who I really am, because I didn't even know myself.
The 1st time I attended this workshop, I sat through the whole thing very hesitant to speak up or interact. That was very typical of me, not feeling like anything I had to say would be of any worth to anyone. Of course there are "stories" and experiences that have contributed to those feelings. I don't feel that a public blog is the appropriate forum to be specific about those "stories", and would certainly not serve any worthwhile purpose to do so. But I have gotten to a place where I can be very open about those things if I feel it is appropriate and would serve a purpose. In the last few years, I have been involved in counseling and therapy, along with attending workshops of this kind. I have discovered some great things about myself and yes have most definitely opened up.
A couple other words that were used as my partner looked at me in this validation exercise were "calm" and "peace". I have to say that the experiences I have gone through in my past and am currently going through would not typically be described as peaceful or calming. Quite the opposite. I do feel an inner peace and calm though. Having that show through to others is heart warming. I have come to an understanding that pain (of all types) is real and we can't escape it, non of us can. Pain in this life is not optional. Suffering on the other hand is. We can choose how that pain will effect us. I don't mean to imply that I have perfected the art of "peace" and "calm". There are plenty of days that I don't feel that way at all. It is my goal though and to have others see that in me is an indication that some how, in some way I am beginning to learn to access my own personal power.
