It's A Matter of Choice

When I heard the news of the Supreme Court ruling on same sex marriage yesterday, my mind went in a few different directions.  I watched and read as people expressed their opinion in different ways.  For the most part, those opinions were one side or the other, but handled in a respectful manner.  I do live a pretty sheltered life. I don't watch the news and even my social media settings are very conservative, so I'm sure there were disrespectful things flying around too.  As the day went on, my mind was filled with something that I feel compelled to blog about. This is in no way meant to sway or support one side or the other.  It is sincerely meant in all due respect to all.  It will contain some of the things I have chosen to believe in, but this is not about my beliefs or those particular choices.  It is about that dirty word......"choice".

As a child, our world is controlled by the choices of our parents.  What to wear, what to eat, where to go...we don't have a lot of say in the matter.  As we grow and as our parents teach and let go, we gain more and more say in those choices of life.  As a mom of young children, I was pretty happy and content with the principle of choice.......then my little ones became teenagers!!  My love for the principle of choice turned to hate very quickly. 

It is no secret that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, (Mormon).  I choose to believe in the doctrine taught and I choose to teach that doctrine in my home.  I also choose to accept the Articles of Faith.  They are 13 statements written by Joseph Smith in the early days of the church when he was asked to summarize the basic beliefs of the Mormons.  The 11th Article of Faith states:

"We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may."

Everyone gets to choose what and how they believe.  Letting others around us make their own choices is a very hard, hard lesson to learn.  I suppose it's easy enough if those people are perfect strangers and their choices don't harm or injure or get in the way of my choices.  But when they are people in my life, people I have relationships with, it becomes very difficult.  

Here's where my own beliefs come in.  I believe the principle of choice is an eternal principle.  It existed before the world was created.  We, as spirits, were offered a choice.  We had to choose one side or the other.  Based on what I know and believe of those 2 choices, I am sure that all of us made the same choice.  We chose to come to an earth that was going to be prepared for us and gain mortal bodies.  The plan we chose involved learning and growing and continuing to make choices.  The other plan which was dismissed and never put into play, was a plan of force.  No one would have to make choices, no one would ever make any mistakes to learn from, no one would ever rejoice in their accomplishments.....we would just be on a single lane path with no detours and no options.  So that plan didn't happen and here we are.  So you see, the principle of choice is the driving force of everything! Adam and Eve were given 2 commandments in the Garden of Eden.  One... to multiply and replenish the earth, the other... to not partake of the fruit of knowledge of good and evil.  Those two commandments were conflicting and both could not be followed.  By not partaking of the fruit, they would remain in the Garden of Eden in an immortal state and not be able to procreate, therefore not fulfilling the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth.  With the commandment given to not eat the fruit, the Lord told them what would happen if they did eat.

17 But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.  (Genesis 2:17)

Meaning that if they ate the fruit, they would be made mortal, subject to all manner of mortal issues, including death.

Well, we know they did eat the fruit, and here we all are in a mortal world and the eternal principle of choice continues.  

The Mormon church made an official statement yesterday. So did the Catholic church and so did the Jewish, both strict orthodox and moderate orthodox.  While each statement very specifically states the strong stand that the doctrine outlined by the Lord and by their religious structure will not change....that a marriage is a sacred covenant and a union between a man and a woman.  Each statement also called for the respect of everyone in the choices they make.  I sincerely hope that the plea for respect and love is not overlooked by all the opinions and energy surrounding this.  I also hope and plead that my choices and beliefs will also be respected as I am allowed to believe and teach in my home as I choose. I read this in a Salt Lake newspaper yesterday:

“This is another historic day," Utah Democratic Party Chairman Peter Corroon said Friday. "Today's decision acknowledges what Utahns have always known — families come in all shapes and sizes, and each of them is worthy of respect and legal protections. In addition to recognizing the rights of the individual, we also recognize the rights of religious institutions to not be compelled to act against their beliefs."

Utah House Minority Leader Brian King, D-Salt Lake City, called the court's ruling a great thing.

"We know this has been a divisive issue, and we recognize that each individual has the right to their own moral and religious beliefs regarding same sex marriage," he said. "But we welcome this ruling because it makes clear that discrimination based on sexual orientation is not acceptable under the Constitution and that families of all types are entitled to protection under the law."

Does the ruling dictate what a religion can teach and not teach.....No.  Does the ruling change my beliefs.....No.  Does it change how I will worship on Sunday and conduct my life during the week.....No.  It would seem the ruling is about equality under the law.  I would hope that same legal system will protect my rights to enjoy and live my life as I choose.  I would hope it would also protect the rights of all religious organizations to teach and conduct their religious rites as set out by the God they worship.  

There are all kinds of choices we encounter.  Choice is a God given gift and an eternal principle.  Some choices by others cause harm to people and laws are needed to protect. Some choices are a matter of life style and do no harm. Laws are good to establish equality under that law. The choice to disrespect others and their own choices is also ours, but only hurts and serves no purpose. I trust that the equality will be shared and respected by all.

Getting to the Heart of Social Media

My mind is spinning and I can't sleep.  I just witnessed something on social media that has touched my heart and warms my soul.  I want to tell you about it.  But first, let me explore a topic that I have heard debated......is social media good or bad?  So what's your take on that?  Well here's mine.  It is neither good nor bad, it just is. Just like speaking is neither good nor bad.  It is a form of communication.  Sending letters is neither good nor bad, it is a form a communication.  Body language is neither good nor bad, simply a form of communication. Texting, social media, blogging, etc, neither good nor bad, just forms of communication.  What we do with any and all of those forms of communication and what they are used for is what defines it as good or bad, but not the medium of communication itself.  Communication, in any form, is necessary to the interactions we all need and crave on a daily basis.  I'm sure you've all been told something that was not kind in nature, maybe even directed to you personally.  Not a good feeling and can be very damaging to the soul, especially if continued over a period of time.  Does that make the medium of speaking words a bad thing that should be debated and even abolished???  Well you don't even have to answer that ridiculous question.  So why would we think that social media is bad or even to be debated.  It can be used for so much good as well as so much bad, simply depends on the source and the outcome.  I've seen posts and drama and private issues aired on social media that I didn't really want to see or read about.  You all know the kind of thing I'm talking about.  So I just click, "I don't want to see this post" and it goes away, at least from my view.....and that is all I care about.  I have it in my power to do that and I love it!  I wish I could click a button and make some of the hurtful things spoken directly go away that easily.  Then there is the good stuff.  We all have different opinions of what we consider good...but for me, something uplifting, worthwhile, helpful in strengthening my character, even light or humorous to make me laugh.  All good stuff. 

So here's the real story.  Tonight a friend was given a great gift of support and love from her circle of friends on social media.  With her permission, I'm sharing this with you.  My friend sales a product and I'm not going to mention what that product is here.  That's not the purpose of my blog post.  She had a goal to reach to win a cruise to Jamaica.  Well, let me just say she had given up on that goal.  She had a death in the family this month and just returned from an out of state trip to attend the funeral and other family matters concerning that death.  That and other challenges made her goal seem impossible to reach, as her attention was diverted elsewhere.  So what did I witness??  Today was the deadline. With about 8 hours to go, she was down about $1300.00.  Seemed impossible.....but not when social media was the medium to accomplish that goal.  Another friend of hers decided to help her out and started posting.  It took off from there.  In less than the 8 hours, it happened and as I sat glued to my computer screen watching and posting and pulling for her, I wasn't alone.  I simply jumped on the band wagon and the wagon was full....full of love, support and well wishes.  I really didn't know many of the names of the others on that wagon.  I could tell who was driving the wagon, and it wasn't her.  It was that other friend.  The joy and excitement of each person posting was evident.  I was part of something grand!  I'm sure the trip will be amazing with lots of memories.  But I would bet my friend will remember this night of support and love as each of us rallied around a cause.  

My friend has a huge heart and has found a way to give love to children that might not otherwise find love and peace in their life.  She offers foster care and loves these children.  She opens herself up to the possibility of pain along the way.  I've witnessed and experienced some of that from a different angle and have only respect and admiration for her.  She had a month that has brought sadness and grieving.  She deals with other trials and struggles, as we all do.  She may wonder how I even know that much about her.  Yup...social media, gotta love it!  This night wasn't about buying a product, although we will all get our product in the mail and use it and love it!  It was all about giving our mutual friend something she deserves because she gives so much to others! 

Is social media good or bad?  It just is.... and when used as I witnessed tonight...it is very, very good.

Life is a Dance

Remember my blog post from Sept 2012 titled  Dancing in the Rain?  Well I still have that plaque on my desk that says, "LIFE is not waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to Dance in the Rain".  I still look up and see it and smile.  Hilary Weeks sings a song called Dancing in the Rain.  The chorus goes like this:

And I danced in the rain, I let my dreams know I hadn't forgotten them.
I let my heart take the lead and I told my hopes to get themselves up again.
And I danced, I looked, yes I danced in the rain.

So after one learns to dance in the rain, what does one do? Duh.....they dance! That is exactly what I have been doing.  I have been discovering the great fun of dancing.  Yes, the Swing or Jitterbug, the Country Two Step, the Cha Cha, oh yeah and many more.  And what's even better, I'm not bad.  Who knew??   I can follow a good lead and learn a dance very quickly.  I love to follow that lead and be led all around the dance floor with twirls and turns and spins galore.  I have to say though, that finding a good partner who can lead well is not as easy as it sounds. First-- they need to hear the same music you hear.  I know, that sounds funny, but seriously.......sometimes the feet move, but I'm wondering what music he's listening to, because it isn't the same music I'm hearing. Steps can be learned but music can only be heard and felt.  In a recent General Conference talk, Elder Wilford Andersen of the Seventy relayed this story:

Years ago I listened to a radio interview of a young doctor who worked in a hospital in the Navajo Nation. He told of an experience he had one night when an old Native American man with long braided hair came into the emergency room. The young doctor took his clipboard, approached the man, and said, “How can I help you?” The old man looked straight ahead and said nothing. The doctor, feeling somewhat impatient, tried again. “I cannot help you if you don’t speak to me,” he said. “Tell me why you have come to the hospital.”

The old man then looked at him and said, “Do you dance?” As the young doctor pondered the strange question, it occurred to him that perhaps his patient was a tribal medicine man who, according to ancient tribal customs, sought to heal the sick through song and dance rather than through prescribing medication.

“No,” said the doctor, “I don’t dance. Do you dance?” The old man nodded yes. Then the doctor asked, “Could you teach me to dance?”

“I can teach you to dance,” he said, “but you have to hear the music.”

So it would be fair to say that you both need to be in tune and hear the same thing. Second-- you need to want to go and be lead in the direction that he is going and leading, simple enough. Turn that around though, if you don't want to go in the direction he is leading, you need to get out of the dance and not caught up in his steps.  As long as he leads and you match his steps, you're going where he's leading. Third-- since you are putting yourself in his arms to lead you in the direction he wants to go, you need to trust his lead.....pure and simple......that big word, TRUST. 

So how does one find that perfect partner? Well not by staying home and waiting for him to come and knock on your door. Like that's gonna happen. You go dancing! And let your dreams know you haven't forgotten them. You let your heart take the lead and tell your hopes to get themselves up again. And you dance, and you look, and you dance in the rain..........until you find that perfect partner...... and then life will be sweet, yes...... real sweet!

Thoughts To Live By

I love to collect and keep quotes at my fingertips.  Technology makes it easy to do that.  I thought it would be fun to share some of my favorites.  I know the source of some and others I don't even know who to give credit to.  So hear goes, and not in any particular order.

1.  Don't let someone dim your light, simply because it's shining in their eyes.

 2. I never let the things I don't understand interfere with the things I do understand. 
                 I'll give credit to Paul Hedgecock on this one.  At least that's where I heard it.  He may have been quoting someone else though.

3. I am only 1 person and I can't do everything.  But I am 1 person and I can do something.  I won't let what I can't do interfere with what I can do.
                                                                                       Edward Hales

4. When we are connected with God and He with us, it will make all our connections with others just happen.

5. Faith in God includes faith in His timing.
                                                                 Neal A. Maxwell

6. If you can dream it, you can do it.
                                                                                       Walt Disney

7. We don't earn Heaven, we learn Heaven.
                                                                                                                        Brad Wilcox

8. What you see depends on where you stand.

9. Definition of co-incidence............God's way of remaining anonymous.

10.  The future is as bright as your faith.
                                                                  Thomas S. Monson

11.  To believe in God is to know that all the rules will be fair, and that there will be wonderful surprises.
                                                                   Ugo Betti

12.  Godliness cannot be conferred but must be acquired.
                                                                   Lorenzo Snow 

13.  There is no growth in the comfort zone and no comfort in the growth zone.

14.  Early in life I realized that I would have to live with myself more than with anybody else, and I have tried to so live that I would be in good company when alone.
                                                                   James E. Talmage

15.  Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be easily bent out of shape.
              The bus driver on the way from the parking lot to the Phoenix Temple for my tour guide shift during the open house.

16.  Romantic love is not only a part of life, but literally a dominating influence of it. It is deeply and significantly religious. There is no abundant life without it. Indeed, the highest degree of the celestial kingdom is unattainable in the absence of it.
                                                                   Boyd K. Packer

17.  Life is hard.  It's harder if you're stupid.
                                                                   John Wayne

18.  Everything you've always wanted is on the other side of fear.
                                                                   George Addair

19.  Why fear death?  It will be the single most glorious thing we go through in this life.
           Handwritten in my grandpa's Book of Mormon, along with other quotes that he saved.  He was quoting a fellow passenger on a ship he traveled on across the Atlantic Ocean.

20.  When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

21.  Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the world.  There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.  We are all meant to shine, as children do.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
                                                                                Marianne Williamson