The Journey Continues

Every now and then, on this journey called life, there are points in time when we learn some things about ourselves that are important to our progression.  These last couple of weeks have been a point in time such as that.  It's interesting to me how these things I learn are not new concepts.  But my capacity or even readiness to accept them is new.  I guess that's what they call progression.

Last weekend, our church had what we Mormons call General Conference.  Twice a year the leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints hold meetings where they give inspired counsel to everyone all over the world.  Those meetings are broadcast on TV and also available online in many different languages.  (They remain online and available for listening, viewing or reading at http://www.lds.org/general-conference/sessions/2013/10?cid=HPFR100413113&lang=eng for anyone who wishes to access them.)  We Mormons believe we have a living Prophet on the earth today.  After all, there have been prophets on the earth through out time.  Why would this dispensation of time be any different.  Why would God not communicate to us, as he did to the people of Abraham's or Noah's day.  Well He does and I always feel something very special about these leaders.  In my heart I know what they have to say is from God and from Jesus Christ.  I always look forward to that feeling in my soul when the spirit testifies to me that something that was just said was meant for me.  I know that might sound crazy, since these men and women are speaking to the world, but that's how the spirit works.  If I'm in tune, I will hear something that touches my soul and it will be deeply personal to me.  Interestingly enough, that can happen to everyone listening with an open heart and mind.

I anticipated General Conference this time a little more than usual, due to a dream I had about 3 weeks ago.  I dreamt I was waiting for a meeting to start and waiting to hear Elder Robert D. Hales speak.  He's one of the 12 Apostles who lead our church under the direction of our Prophet, Thomas S. Monson.  There were quite a few people in this room, but a lot of them left just before Elder Hales came in to speak.  The few of us that were left moved up to the front few rows and then Elder Hales came in.  I woke before he started to speak.  As this dream occurred only a few weeks before our General Conference, and as I have learned to pay attention to dreams of this sort, I felt sure that Elder Hales would have something very specific for me.  As the first of 4 sessions started, it was announced that right after President Monson would give his opening remarks, Elder Hales would be the speaker.  Wow, right off the bat.  I wasn't going to have to wait!  To my surprise, Elder Hales spoke about conference in general.  How the topics for the talks are not assigned, but rather each Apostle ponders and prays for weeks, and then prepares what they feel the Lord is prompting them to talk about.  Okay, I knew that, so what did that have to do with me and where was my spiritual moment of inspiration.  I did feel that he was giving a great preface and explanation to the next 2 days of inspired words from our leaders.  I also felt that the people who left, in my dream before he came in to speak, represented many people in the world who were going to miss out on these next few days of spiritual strength and growth and that made me sad.  I also felt that the Lord must have a sense of humor and was now chuckling as I thought Elder Hales personally would give me my "ah-ha" moment and what he was saying was listen carefully with that open spirit to ALL the inspired talks.  I have to say, there was one thing he said that set off a spark in my heart.  In talking about how our conferences are inspired and the leaders who speak are inspired, he mentioned briefly our Stake Conferences too.  Where our General Conference is for the entire world, our Stake Conference is local and not broadcast.  We meet in a local chapel and hear our local leaders.  My geographical stake was having Stake Conference the week after General Conference.  So this inspiration would simply follow right in line and flow into the next week.  None of what Elder Hales said was a new concept.  As I said earlier, I know these men and women that hold leadership positions in our church are inspired.  I know I always gain something personal from these talks.  But the message still rang clear, "listen carefully and with an open heart over these next few days and next weekend in Stake Conference as well".

I did gain some insightful things from General Conference, things I won't be sharing here.  I then waited with anticipation for Stake Conference, which was last night and today.  Last nights session was marvelous.  It was focused on how we can use technology to help the world understand what we Mormons believe.  We can help others understand that God loves them, that He is their Heavenly Father, that He does hear them when they pray and that they can have a personal relationship with Him.  We can help others come to know that Jesus Christ is at the center of our gospel, even the center of our hearts.  Yes indeed we are Christians, unlike what current rumor would have the world believe.  We can help others find answers to questions that can help bring joy and happiness into their lives.  As I have written in earlier blogs, I started blogging for my children, a life story type of thing.  When I made the decision to open it to the public, it was a HUGE step for me.  Yes, all the things I mentioned in previous blogs are true.  This is therapeutic.  This is a way to help me open up and hopefully to help my family and future posterity understand who I am and what I believe.  But there is another reason, something I don't think I have shared.  Dieter F. Uchtdorf (another Apostle from our church) said something a few years back that stuck with me.  He told us to spread our joy and our beliefs to the world, not only with our voices, but with our fingers through text, social media and blogs.  I also was told in a very special blessing given to me as a teenager that I should teach the gospel through my testimony.  Those 2 statements are the reason I was able to follow through with opening my blog to the public.

As I continued to listen to our local stake leaders both last night and today, another topic touched my heart, surprisingly.  I say surprisingly because it is a topic that is usually very hard to listen to.  One of those things I know is a weakness of mine, therefore counsel about it just brings feelings of guilt.  The topic is forgiving others.  Being able to forgive others is something that I know is important.  It is taught to us by Christ himself and if we truly want to live a Christlike life, we need to develop that attribute.  I know these things, but making them happen in my own life is something I have found difficult to comprehend.  A while back, someone told me of a quote from another of our church leaders.  To paraphrase, it basically said that to rush forgiveness of others who have greatly wronged us, was counter productive.  Rather, we need to simply prepare our hearts and when the time is right, that ability to forgive will come.  I think I have held onto that quote, like a rite of passage of sorts, justifying my hesitancy to forgive.  As I listened to my inspired local leaders, my heart openly accepted the message offered.  There was emphasis on the fact that forgiving others might take time and not happen all at once, but we just need to persevere with the Lord's help in that direction.  I believe I have been prepared to understand  that I am capable of forgiving others.  I believe that a loving Heavenly Father knows what I need.  More importantly, when I need it and when I am capable of accepting it.  I know that through the atonement of Jesus Christ our hearts can heal and soften.  I know that sharing these things with you is the right thing to do.  So on a very personal note from me to each one of you individually, I also know that you have a Heavenly Father that loves you.  You can also come to know the joy and peace in your heart that the doctrines of Jesus Christ have brought to me.  

Many answers to questions about what Mormons believe can be found on  www.mormon.org and my personal profile can also be found at http://mormon.org/me/782S

Just Toby

I didn't think I would cry, but I did.  Our dog, Toby, had a very aggressive form of canine cancer and it finally took its toll.  So about a month ago, I drove him to the vet, knowing he wasn't coming back home with me. 

On a scale of 1 to 10 as a dog lover, I would put myself somewhere in the middle.  As a girl on the farm, we always had at least one dog, if not more.  But most were just farm dogs.  You know, just there, coming and going and just hanging around.  As for their life span, well as I said they were just coming and going.  Didn't make a big deal about an animal dying.  It just happened.  As an adult, raising my own family, we've had many dogs too.  Can't say I've had much emotion over their passing either.  So what made Toby different?  What made his life and his death something that I would want to blog about?  Not sure I have the answer to that, but I do know I want to tell you about Toby.


About 9 years ago, we set out to find a yellow lab puppy.  I knew what I wanted, a large muscular male lab.  We found the ad in the paper and drove to the breeders home to see the litter.  The pups were about 4 months old and out they ran to meet us.  There was Toby, twice the size of the other pups, bouncing all over them and dominating my attention.  He was instantly mine.  We brought him home and created a space for him in a back hallway with a doggy door to the back yard and baby gate at the other end keeping him from the rest of the house.  We would let him into the living room on occasion, but only by invitation.  Soon, the baby gate came down and he never once entered the rest of house with out that invitation.  He learned his place very quickly. 

I need to back up a bit and tell you about his name.  As I said, we got him from a breeder and he was from a champion line.  That wasn't really important to me, though.  I just wanted a good dog and I knew in my mind what he would look like.  I did register him with the AKC and in filling out the paperwork, under the name section, it seemed fitting to come up with something rather official and not simple like "Toby".  We did not have permission from the breeder to use the kennel name since we weren't planning to use him as a show dog.  I still felt compelled to come up with something fancy and fitting.  I racked my brain, and couldn't come up with anything that I liked.  Still compelled to put something longer than "Toby" down, I wrote, "Just Toby".  I have to say I felt silly when sending it off.  In the world of registered dogs with champion lines, "Just Toby" seemed rather lame.  To my surprise, when the registration came back, it had his official name as "Just Toby IV".  How cool was that!  And certainly not lame, as there were 3 other "Just Toby"s out there.

When we moved into our current home, there was no separate area for Toby, although we had that on our want list as we looked at homes.  We weren't sure how that would play out, but Toby immediately found his corner in the living room and that corner became his. 

We had Toby for almost 9 years.  That's a long time.  A lot of memories.  We've had many sets of missionaries from our church in our home and most recently, spanish speaking missionaries.  So yes, thanks to Hermana Anderson and Hermana Baumgartner, Toby became bilingual very quickly.  Toby also learned that when the sister missionaries were in the kitchen, but no other family members around, it was perfectly acceptable to enter the kitchen.

It's crazy how animals can become part of your family and part of your life.  Toby was a good dog and we will miss him.