If you haven't read an earlier post of mine, called The Journey (in the menu under September), I suggest you do that before reading this one. This is a continuation of the journey I'm taking, that journey to find the then and there me. Well, I'm finding her, little by little, strength by strength. I would like to report that finding her is bringing much peace into my life. Experiencing her strength, the strength that is now becoming my own strength in the here and now me is a marvelous thing. If you're confused about just who the 'then and there me' and also the 'here and now me' are, you didn't go back and read The Journey. Gotta do it. So I'm finding her. Still more to find I'm sure, but no doubt, well on my way. Something happening here that I want to tell you. Just when I think I'm getting the hang of this journey to find her, that it's going to be smooth sailing, I discover a road block. IT, the road block, is so large that IT would stop any further attempts to continue this journey. I could stop my journey and go back the way I came. Oh....I don't even like the sound of that, so that is NOT an option at all. Or I could just stop my journey right here and camp out at IT, content with all I have gained and become, and grateful for the experience. Hmm, that sounds comfortable. Even sounds like what I might be doing, just waiting for someone else to come along and break IT down for me, so I can continue on my way. But something is still missing here. You see, I can see beyond IT. I know there are wonderful and glorious things waiting for me further down my path. I just can't get over IT without going way out of my comfort zone. What if I have it within my power to conquer IT and move on? What if the process, in itself, is empowering? And here's a big question, what if I fear that empowerment that can be gained? What if that fear is a huge road block in and of itself. There is a quote from Marianne Williams, who is a spiritual activist and lecturer, that I have read on more that one occasion.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
The then and there me wants me to continue. She wants me to know that I can't gain much more until I do. She wants me to know that it's time to stop waiting for someone else to conquer this road block and that I have it within my power to do so. She wants me to stop fearing the power that is not only within me, but within all of us. I continue to feel her pushing, pulling, prodding me and I am up for the challenge!
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