Hiding Behind the Metaphor

My birthday is this month and I will be 57.  I don't have a problem saying that.  It's only a number.  Notice I didn't say 57 years old as most would say, and notice I didn't say 57 years young, as some would say.  It's just a measure of time in this mortal journey.  As I look back, my mind is full.  I have 5 children, ages range from 15 to 37.  They too are on their own mortal journey with a measure of time attached.  I think of all the things I've learned, more specifically as a mother in the last 37 years, and how my own growth has changed the way I've raised them and, more specifically, handled the situations surrounding our environment.  My oldest were not raised the same way I'm raising the youngest-fact.  My youngest has different challenges in her teenage life than my oldest did- fact.  I'm a different person now than I was 37 years ago- fact.  It is the nature of this life to learn and grow and change.  Hopefully to gain strengths and gain understanding of the whole learning process.  Hopefully changing our behavior to adjust to what we are learning and becoming.  And most importantly, changing what we are becoming to create a more Christlike pattern of living.

At this point in my 57 years, my life is changing. Some categorize my most recent change as a "life changing event".  Some would say that event is surrounded with a lot of pain and suffering.  The pain is real- fact.  The suffering is optional- fact.  In my past blog posts, I have referenced a lot of that pain with metaphors of storms and other things.  I've used stories and experiences as parables to learn from and gain strength from.  I've used this public blog as a means to share what I'm learning as I go.  I've hidden behind the metaphor in an attempt to keep personal things personal, but also to share and to express my emotions.  All the time hoping that anyone out there who might be experiencing similar pain could read between the lines and connect with me.  Hoping they could gain a sense of self worth and know they are loved by a kind and loving Heavenly Father.  I have not only discovered a love for writing, but have come to realize my writing as a talent.  I hope that doesn't sound boastful.  I truly believe this talent to be a gift from my Heavenly Father.  I believe in parables and as taught in the parable of the talents, I want to be like the one who used and therefore increased his talents.  My writing is very therapeutic.  That's the personal gain.  But when I see that someone else is gaining something, anything, that is what helps me continue. That is what gives me purpose and helps to separate the pain from the suffering and put the suffering in the optional category. 

 As I continue to think back on the 37 years of raising my children, I also look at them now and see the struggles they endure.  My heart aches at times as I watch and know exactly how they feel and know exactly why they handle themselves as they do.  But I am also filled with joy and peace as I see how they are learning and growing, experiencing their own journey, learning from their own parables, and simply doing the best they can.  My mind takes me to all the "what ifs" and all the "should haves".  But that kind of analyzing is not productive and serves no purpose.  I try to see the silver lining to the cloud and recognize the growth opportunity not only for me but for my children.  I hope they can see that lining for themselves.  For every Christlike quality we are here to develop, there are experiences we must encounter to truly develop them.  We can't learn a skill without practice and we can't practice by sitting on the bench.  We must get in the game and give it our all, sometimes getting dirty and hurt.  And sometimes even losing the game.  But when all is said and done, it's not about the winning or losing, it's about the experience and what was gained from that experience.

So as long as there are personal things to keep personal and emotions to protect I will continue to hide behind the metaphor.  As with the parables, those that have ears to hear will hear.  Hopefully taking their own storms of life and learning from them.  All the time acknowledging the pain, which is real, but putting the optional suffering away.  All the time recognizing the incredible growth that is happening because we are on the playing field playing the game, and giving it our all.